Only friends, only platonic, and I’ve been really upfront about my emotional position.But as the weeks have passed, although I continue to feel strong and lingering feelings for my ex, my feelings for the new (beta, completely out of my usual range of attraction) guy have started growing.You’re excited, a little nervous and you’re not obsessing as much over jerkface, who hasn’t made any effort to contact you.Friday arrives, you put on your best outfit, your hair looks great and you’re not even thinking of whats-his-face. He’s funny and amusing and you start to picture your life with this person.You are heartbroken and you can’t believe that they are so over you, that you could drop dead and they wouldn’t even notice. You made plans to meet up for Friday night and the next couple of days you feel kind of ok. You pull up your old profile from that dating site, put your pictures back up and within a few minutes you’ve already got a couple of messages.But my question is this – firstly, how can I really uncover whether this is a rebound thing, or if the feelings might be genuine, and secondly, because I am so aware that I really needed to ‘break the mold’, how do I evaluate if this is not just the motivation for something new.I have had a conversation with the new guy, and he is understanding and patient – but I also don’t want to keep him hanging on. But I applaud you for getting out there instead of pining away for a guy who demonstrated his lack of integrity by going straight into the arms of your friend. And then, when it comes time to step things up, they bail because they weren’t “really” ready to be committed for life. These are not bad people; they are driven by their emotions and are doing the best they can.
In the meantime, when mourning the end of a relationship, be sure to avoid the following “don’ts” of breakup etiquette, which can just end up harming you more. Right now, you’re not looking for a friend who looks exactly like the person who broke your heart.
You don’t have to sob at the office, but take some quiet moments to reflect and be honest with yourself. It’s healthier to express yourself honestly than grow numb.
The temptation may be to pretend you’re unaffected by the breakup; don’t let pride get in the way of being real.
She has been stressed and overwhelmed with work recently.
I am told the biggest reason why we broke up is partly because she feels the need to "find herself again" because she feels she doesn't have any "true" friends and is just overwhelmed and lost with our seperation and stress.